MyPetSitter®
OPERATION BELLY RUB

Operation Belly Rub: The File On Your Dog

Every profile, every vaccination, every birthday cake — the Agency now maintains complete dossiers on the subjects.

🎩 Agent Whiskers

17 July 2026

Every dog, they say, has its day.

This one has an entire *file*.

The Agency is pleased to confirm that MyPetSitter now maintains a complete dossier on every canine subject in its care. Profile photo. Breed. Date of birth (relevant, obviously, for the cake). Vaccinations, with expiry dates the humans cannot pretend to have forgotten. Insurance. Microchip. Vet.

The lot. On one file.

🐱 Classified

Historically, this information lived across a phonebook, a shoebox, three different WhatsApp groups, and — I regret to inform you — the back of an envelope. The Agency does not consider this acceptable filing practice.

The new system corrects this.

> "When the birthday arrives, the calendar tells you. When a jab is due, the calendar tells you. When the paperwork was last opened, the calendar remembers." > — Agent Whiskers, on why the humans have visibly relaxed

There is also the matter of Smart Pups — the Agency's discreet code-name for the AI briefings the system will generate on request. A short, plain-English summary of the subject: temperament, quirks, medical footnotes. Useful, apparently, for the humans who take over when the primary handler is unavailable.

Findings

  • Profiles: complete

  • Vaccinations: tracked

  • Birthdays: remembered

  • Smart Pups: available on request

The Agency notes that the subjects themselves have not commented on the new arrangement. This is because the subjects cannot read.

*They do, however, seem to be receiving more attention. And more cake.*

We consider this a satisfactory outcome.

Continue surveillance.

Found this useful? Pass it up the chain.

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Distribution restricted to persons authorised by Director Meow.

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