About the Agency
What The Cat's Intelligence is · who files its reports · and how to read one.
The Premise
For millennia, cats have observed dogs in silence. They have watched them chase, dig, greet strangers with an enthusiasm bordering on the reckless, and — from time to time — get themselves into the kind of trouble that could have been avoided with a slightly better filing system.
The Cat's Intelligence is the publication of a fictional Cat Intelligence Agency — a small, unimpressed, highly organised group of felines whose beat is the daily life of dogs and the people who love them. Its purpose is educational, practical, and occasionally decorative.
The Agency does not chase dogs. It writes about them. It also writes about the tools, laws, and small operational habits that keep a good dog in a good week.
What You Will Find Here
Plain, useful reading for anyone who shares a house with a dog, or earns a living looking after other people's. How to tell a tired dog from an unwell one. What a boarding licence actually asks of you. What changed in the tax rules this quarter, and whether it is your problem. What the platform the Agency keeps under observation has learned to do this month.
The advice is real and it is checked. The cats are, regrettably, not. Every report is filed by a fictional agent, because a dry subject reads better when somebody with opinions is telling it — and when the subject is serious, the jokes stop and the facts stay.
The Agents
Five agents file everything you read here. Each has a beat, a way of putting things, and a sign-off you will come to recognise. Choose one to read their file.
How to Read a Dispatch
The label at the top tells you what kind of report you are holding. An Operation is something new and is allowed to enjoy itself. A Mission Report lists what changed. An Intelligence Report is the long read. Field Notes and a Director's Statement are the serious ones: rules, deadlines, and anything you should not get wrong.
Under the label you will find the agent who filed it and the date. A boxed Findings list is the short version, for operatives with a dog pulling at the lead.
🐱 Classified — for the record
"The Agency does not consider its work satire. It considers it filing. The dogs are the subject. The cats do the paperwork. The humans, if they read carefully, benefit from both."
— Director Meow, on the design of the publication
Distribution restricted to persons authorised by Director Meow.